Memorial Service

The nice part of a memorial service is that you have additional time to plan and think about what you want to do and how you want it done rather than a three day rush of planning a funeral while you are in the midst of grieving.

A memorial service can be conducted at any time that fits best into your schedule; however, be sure you don't let too much time go by.

A memorial service can be religious or non-religious (secular).

First, choose the memorial service time and location. The location possibilities are endless:

At the home of the deceased or other family member
A church service followed by a gathering in the church hall
Restaurant
Catering hall
A community center or other public space such as a Garden club, VFW, nursing home, or senior citizen activity center
A Park
Funeral home
Vacation home
Fishing or golf trip, trip to a ball game, beach party, concert or any other place that has a tie to the deceased

The Memorial service can be elaborate or simple. You can ask guests to contribute food items or order catered food and refreshments, you may or may not want to organize a program with music , speakers, decorations, etc.

If you choose to do a more structured memorial service, consider the following:

You will want to choose a few people to speak. Be sure they have time to prepare a eulogy or other tribute. Also for a large group a sound systerm may be neccesary.
Make a guest list.
Send invitations or another form of notification.
Choose music prerecorded or live. A performance by a friend or family member, i.e. a violin, harp, guitar, piano, can be a nice touch.
Order flowers or other decorations.
Select pictures to put on display and/or pull together a collage of pictures on a posterboard.
Have a computer savvy family member or friend create a video slide show on a laptop to project at the memorial service.
Display some of the deceased's favorite things ( i,e.,a golf club, art easel, knitting quilt, favorite hat, sports memoribila) You want to bring the person’s spirit to life as much as possible
Make a memorial service program so people can participate in a special song selection or prayers.
Make a program or booklet that is a tribute to the deceased with a picture of them on the cover and include letters or sentiments from loved ones and/or poems.
Don't forget to list memorial service speakers.
Arrange for a balloon release, butterfly release, dove release.
Hold a candle lighting ceremony.

Have guest leave the memorial service with a memento such as a tulip bulb or another type of Perennial which will remind people of your loved one on a yearly basis. Just put out a basket with a note asking attendees to plant the bulb in honor of the deceased. Some other memento ideas:

Fishing hooks or lures for the avid fisherman
Copies of one of your favorite pictures
A picture of the deceased with a special quote, poem or prayer on the back

Remember you can hold a memorial celebration every year around the death anniversary or the one, five, or ten year anniversaries

You may also use the memorial service as an opportunity to scatter ashes:

From a boat at sea
At the waters edge
Memory garden
Vacation home
Placement in a niche

One of the very nicest most personal ways to commemorate a loved one, is through sharing a home movie. Produce a short 10 minutes or less -video and show it as part of the ceremony, or have a special viewing area that people can view at their leisure. Attendees will love it.
I can not stress enough what a wonderful touch this is. For those who find current technology a bit baffling, there is always someone who can help you pull this together. Contact a friend or family member who may be familiar with how to edit a home movies on the computer or hire someone to do this for you. Afterwards you have a wonderful keepsake.